I'm still here.

Went to see Terminator Salvation last yesterday, picked up killzone 2 today. Fun.

Killzone 2 is fun, spectacular graphics and exciting gameplay. First impressions are good.

Here's another video of that awesome cat. Remember him and his bag?



Funny kitty.

UNREAL TOURNAMENT 3 (PC, PS3, 360)

Screw you, gametrailers. The bots are fun to play with.


The latest in the line of the most popular series of competitive games, Unreal Tournament 3 doesn't take a step in the right direction. That's not a bad thing, because it gets comfy where it is and makes what it's got damn good. There just isn't alot new.


UT3 takes us back into the undefined world of destruction, carnage, tournaments, and guns. Lots of guns. Especially explosive ones. Alot of the weapons are quite tricky to handle, as none of them can be used effectively against another. It's all very balanced. You can grab one gun, get good at it and then snag another and be just as proficient. Of course, the guy with the rocket launcher is going to beat the guy with the pistol by a longshot but that's common fact. All of the weapons are designed cleverly, everything feels very weighted and satisfying to shoot, even down to the little old enforcer pistol. A favourite of mine would have to be the Flak Cannon, the game's substitute for a shotgun. This thing is great.



What's not to love about a four-pronged device of death that launches white-hot chunks of metal?


Yes, the multiplayer's there. Yes, it's fast-paced and carnage-heavy. And yes, it's a ton of fun. Considering the game's age (2007) you'd be surprised, but people are still playing it. It seems not everyone has shuffled back over to halo and cod4. With an external map editor, there's some hilarious maps to be played. I recall one time I played team deathmatch in a giant bathroom. No joke. The worst that I got from it was minor connection issues, but that can be fixed by simply finding another server.



The gameplay is what it's all about. Frenzied combat with a whole armory of weapons. Epic games got this part just right. Every kill you make is, simply put, satisfying. Things take a twist for the better when you download the free "Titan" content pack and upgrade to UT3 black.

The map design is flat-out awesome. Sure, it's all pretty standard deathmatch fare but the appearance of them all is just spectacular. One of my favourites would be [name forgotten], in which you're hopping through portals to reach a tropical waterfall, a high-up tower in a tech city, and a frozen wasteland in the middle of nowhere. There's a few low-grav maps to be found, as well - One has you dueling atop a series of asteroids linked together by a series of bridges.

Now the Mutators, a returning function is where things get awesome. You can change all of the gameplay variables such as making only headshots kill or giving everyone big heads. The best of the bunch is the Titan, which allows players to transform into hulking behemoths with even bigger guns. It's hilarious seeing 2-3 titans duke it out across a huge bridge in vehicle CTF.

I haven't commented on the vehicles yet, have I? Well, their design is as spectacular as the levels. A new faction, the Necris, have their own personal assortment of war of the worlds tripods, weird flyer thingies, and a ball. That's right, a ball. It bowls into people at the speed of sound.



Every texture in UT3 is very well drawn, as well as every model being very well rendered. There's an odd touch to the graphics that I can't put my finger on that makes everything seem antiquated. It's weird. Maybe there's too much bloom. Still, though - the graphics are all very good, and there's parts of the game that look simply beautiful. Now with graphics like that, you'd be expecting some high system requirements. Nope. Everything is bizarrely configurable. Of course, this leads to on-the-fly rendering so when starting a game you'll just have to wait a moment. That just comes with the engine though.



The sound design also fits quite well. Every sound effect matches it's place very well, and there's mighty fine selection of frantic combat music that plays when the shooting begins. I don't really have much to comment about on this subject.


Like I mentioned earlier UT3 features a map editor, which has also been used to develop mods and the like. Snowreal is a funny example with players snowboarding down mountains in a race.



UT3 doesn't bring alot new to the FPS world, but that's not a bad thing. It does very well with and improves on what it's got.


Presentation - 7.9 A hashed together campaign and somewhat unexplained world don't detract much.

Graphics - 8.6 Fantastic design and spectacular locales are backed by low system requirements.

Sound - 8.5 Very good! That's it.

Gameplay - 8.8 It's frantic, it's crazy, and it's a lot of fun.

Overall - 8.5


-leo

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

RIGHT, ZOG THE WHOLE REVIEW - I HAVE CONCLUDED THAT OBLIVION LOST JUST SUCKS.




!HOLD IT!

This review was conducted using Oblivion Lost, a huge modification to the game which restored alot of cut and lost content. If I get something wrong from the vanilla version, then don't blame me.



What happened?


S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl is another one of those games that just sat in development hell for years, with the developers planning to make a quality product upon it's very, very late release.

Oh, they had a late release alright. But "quality" doesn't fit.

Yeah.


The story of stalker focuses around the "Zone of Alienation", located in Chernobyl. The whole premise is that after the accident happened the place turned into a genuine hell filled with bandits, mutants, wild creatures and deadly pockets of radiation. You play as the "Marked One", a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. That stands for "Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer, Explorer, Robber". You are one of many, as there's lots of other stalkers in the zone. Not everyone is friendly, some won't mind you, and others will gun you down on sight.


Since the whole premise of the game is focused around a giant nuclear accident, there's plenty of angry mutants which are out for blood. Alot of the designs were very clever; alot of them are genuinely pretty creepy. There's the dwarves, these stumpy little bastards who will blast you away with concentrated bursts of air. Watch for the brown coats and glowing eyes. One that I also liked was the, uh... I never actually caught it's name. It's some sort of invisible monster that appears only as a floating ball of electricity. The creature itself appears to be missing legs and just hovers around on it's awesomeness, throwing stuff at you.

Yeah, that's it.


The gameplay was where everything fell flat on it's face purely because of the difficulty. Seriously, someone had real fun messing the difficulty up.

The game could be considered a very primitive version of fallout 3, considering it's setting and ideas as well as it's style of gameplay. There's a section of stealth elements which are a fairly neat idea but they're a little too tricky to pull of successfully, as everyone just spots you and shoots you in the face. The shootouts are where it picks up a little, as the AI is actually really good. They'll take cover, aim carefully, and even try to flank you. This is a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, it's good that they have a competent AI but adding that to all the other difficulty problems is a serious issue. It really doesn't help that about 10 bullets is enough to kill you, and you'll be facing groups of 6-10 enemies at once.


There's a hunger system.

F#@k.


Every single bullet that hits you causes you to start bleeding which results in you constantly losing health. And it's not just bullets, anything with teeth, claws, or a weapon will cause you to start bleeding. And the bleeding doesn't stop. You have to get bandages for that and FOR CHRIST'S SAKE keep these is good supply! They're far too hard to find.

And then there's the radiation. If you don't have armor with a gasmask you're completely screwed. Gasmask armor also helps with the Anomalies, weird visual distortions that turn out to be vicious. When you put everything together you just don't have fun because of the pure difficulty of keeping everything in check.


On a different note, the sound design wasn't too shabby. The game was seriously lacking in music (no, really. I can't remember any music playing.) which is a bit sad as I always like a good tune while I'm blowing things up. As the game is focused around the whole chernobyl accident, as you can expect, it would be pretty scary. As such, you'll hear a good set of clings, clangs, and clongs to go with the spooky atmosphere. I wouldn't be surprised if a bit of foley was used as there's some fairly good sound effects when you're not exploring underground laboratories infested with angry monsters. The sound design works very well with all the other elements in the game. Except for the gameplay.


Stalker was a bit lacking in the visual department, with some blurry textures and outdated effects. Character models were simplistic and blocky. It's all governed by a somewhat dull physics engine that causes ragdolls to twist, turn, and jump about. The game's also a goddamn resource hog, with some quite ridiculous system requirements. It's pulled a bit of an unreal tournament 3 as the graphics are very configurable, though. That's a plus.

A few parts of the game are told through some pre-rendered cinematics. They don't look too bad, but I've seen better.


It's worth noting that stalker is big. Really big. The Zone is actually a really big area and it's filled with more side quests than I can count. It's mostly just tedious stuff like kill stuff over there, run from point A to point B but it's nice to have a big amount of other stuff to do. I'll be damned if I can figure out what the plot is, though. Apparently, you're supposed to kill the Strelok. Who he is, why you want to kill him is far beyond me.


S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl definitely didn't reach my expectations. They weren't even all that high. The sheer difficulty steers the game off course and into a ditch.


Design - 7.9 Spooky monsters and a good atmosphere make the game fairly exciting.

Graphics - 7 I've seen better, I've seen worse..

Gameplay - 5.0 The difficulty. Seriously.

Sound - 7.8 Good sound effects keep the game in check, but the lack of music is problematic.

Overall - 6.8

Resistance: Retribution (PSP)

Go go PSP shooter.



Resistance: Retribution is the third game in a series that started on the PS3 with later 2006's Resistance: Fall of Man, one of the first good titles for the console. It was developed by Insomniac, the creators of the Ratchet and Clank series. This installment takes the shooter series into an over-the-shoulder view with a new character and new console.


Let's get one thing straight - The plot of the resistance series is fantastic. The game takes place in an alternate reality 1950's where WW2 never happened. Instead, a mysterious horde of monsters crawled out of russia and began an assault on britain. The first two games followed the story of Nathan Hale, a soldier who had been infected with a virus from the alien monsters known as Chimaera. The virus gave him newfound strength and hardiness, and was a better then average story for the generic super-soldier. Retribution tells the tale of James Grayson, a soldier who just about lost his mind when the chimaera had infected his brother and were in the process of converting him to their ranks. He went on a personal vendetta and destroyed 26 massive conversion facilities, breaking all military laws in the process. He was sentenced to death. A character from the Marquis - the european resistance movement - steps in to bail him out, with the hope of an assault on france and germany, taking out the conversion centers there.


The gameplay is fast and furious, which is good for a shooter. The controls seem a little clunky at first, but once you get the hang of the auto-targeting system it works great. It's another over-the-shoulder cover based game, and I was surprised at how well it worked on the PSP. Think gears of war portable. There's a good selection of weapons, too - Such as the rocket launcher that can pause it's rockets in mid-air to reposition their aim. You've got the Auger, which shoots through walls, your basic assault rifle with grenade launcher, a chimaeran gun that fires a vorpal blade that homes onto enemies and I'm sure there's a few more. The enemies are also quite memorable, with titanous mechs and, uh... Titans. Go figure.


The graphics are a spectacle for the PSP, as everything looks like late PS2 graphics. That's pretty good, for non-techy terms. Character models are fairly well detailed with minimal blurry textures. A few of the other textures are a little blurry, but that's understandable. Alot of the game is told through pre-rendered cutscenes which are quite frankly the best I've seen on the PSP. A few of the brighter colors are a little funky on my old PSP-1000, but I suppose I should upgrade sometime.


The sound design is great, with a fine selection of growls and roars for the chimaera with some pretty good gun sounds, too. The music is also quite good with a few creepy ambient tracks and some others that give you a feeling of the pure scale of it all.


Like I said earlier the controls keep up quite well once you've got the hang of them. The square, triangle, circle and X buttons act like a second stick with them moving your view about, and the control stick moving. There's a secondary configuration which switches them, which is handy. R button shoots, and holding L then pressing R uses secondary fire options. The D-pad controls everything else, from reloading with left to opening a weapon menu with right. Oh, and down is your use button. I can't seem to remember what up does. Huh.


Retribution is a fine installment for the series taking it onto the PSP as well as keeping the frantic action and plot intact. I would comment on the online multiplayer function but I'm having trouble getting my PSP connected to the internet.


Presentation - 8.7 A fantastic plot and some good characters keep it from feeling flat.

Gameplay - 8.5 Frantic action and entertaining weapons make retribution a Blast.

Controls - 8.1 I was quite surprised at how well they worked.

Sound - 8.0 Good sound effects and some great music liven up the game.

Overall - 8.5


brb, star wars galaxies

-leo

Burn Zombie Burn! (PSN)

EDIT: THEN AGAIN, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST PLAY THE DAMN LAST-MAN-STANDING MODE.



OKAY, I LIED.

WATCH OUT - ZOMBIES ON FIRE!


Hehehe. Burn zombie burn is an arcade top-down shooter, with you dashing around blasting zombies to gain points. The scoring system is very well balanced, actually - You set zombies on fire to increase your score multiplier, but killing burning zombies reduces it. That doesn't mean you don't still get points for killing burning zombies, however. Burning zombies are alot faster, and drop powerups that upgrade your explosives. Normal zombies (You know, not on fire...) drop health and tnt to use. There's an entertaining selection of weapons such as the baseball bat (Oh, and the superior cricket bat), lawnmower, and shotgun. There's also a gun that sucks zombies brains out and shoots them out as bait. Funny stuff. The TNT is the main explosive weapon in the game. It starts with just a simple fuse and timer, but upgrades into landmines which in turn upgrade into remote detonated TNT. The gameplay is fast, entertaining, hectic and funny.

The game is divided into several modes. You've got Timed, in which you'll have to kill burning zombies to get clocks to increase your timer which is constantly ticking down and down. There's also free play, which is just to survive as long as you can with a set number of lives. And, last but not least, protect Daisy. Daisy being your girlfriend, lazing about in a car chewing gum. Kill burning zombies to get her health, but do be careful as they hurt her a bit more. There's also a splitscreen two-player mode which is a bit of fun but certainly could've been executed a little better. No last-man-standing, one player loses his lives - Game over for both. There's also a set of challenges to complete, such as the exploding zombie head which detonates by being shot. The only way to kill zombies is with the head.


The graphics aren't anything special, as they're the usual kind of cartoony style. The zombies are quite hilarious, frankly - They're as funny as they can get, considering they're brain-hungry walking corpses. You've got the tutu wearing ballerina zombies, who skip to and fro across the killing grounds. There's the really big ones who fart fire for an attack. No, I'm not kidding. The fact that they shake their asses while doing it is just all too hilarious. The animation is solid, with everything going very smooth - No frames of movement missing or anything. A few are quite comedic, as well - such as Bruce, player 1 slicking his hair back before pulling out a gun. I was ultimately amazed by the framerate, with literally hundreds of zombies onscreen at once with no FPS drops. It was quite amazing, especially with all that blood flying around. Oh, and yeah. This isn't for the squeamish. There's buckets of blood being tossed about.


The control does it's job quite well, aside from the right stick being completely unused. It's quite strange, actually - You'd think you would aim with it, but no. Well, aside from dropping weapons with R3. The left stick controls everything movement-related, with you clicking it down and having it point out where the other weapons are on the level. You can lock on to the nearest zombie with L1. You'd think that wouldn't work to well, but you'd be surprised. L2 strafes which is a VERY handy feature. R1 and X are both used to fire your weapon. Or swing it, actually - Assuming you've got a bat. Or a lawnmower. R2 brings in the titular burning zombie element with you pulling out a flaming torch to burn zombies with, which can later be replaced with a flamethrower. Triangle is used to drop TNT, of which you can boot at zombies with square. Circle detonates remote-detonated TNT.


Burn Zombie Burn is an entertaining romp through zombie-infested suburbia (and more) with a bruce campbell tribute character which is a good buy, as it's only 15 bucks. Well, all depends on where you are.

Plo- Waaait. What plot?

Graphics - 7.8 They're not bad, they're not anything special - But they're quite funny.

Gameplay - 8.3 Just plain fun.

Control - 8.0 It works very well, but the lack of use on the right stick is a little odd.

Overall - 8.0


-leo

Coming up next, and an entertaining video.

I've got a few titles I'm planning on reviewing soon, here's a list...

Unreal Tournament 3 (PS3, 360, PC)
Resistance Retribution (PSP), thanks to Katie Tat for a copy of it
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)

You read that correctly. Now then, here's a funny cat video to keep you entertained.






That kitty made my day.

FALLOUT 3 (PC, 360, PS3)

Ohh yeah. I just went there.



Fallout 3 is the ten year late sequel to 1998's Fallout 2, an old semi turn-based RPG. It went down as a classic in gaming culture, with it's gameplay, characters, and setting. Onto the setting, infact. The fallout series is set around mid 2200, where the world has been destroyed by nuclear warfare after many wars. Fallout 3 takes place in a destroyed washington D.C. where you'll fight your way through super mutants, deathclaws, and crazed cannibals.


The story is, unfortunately, somewhat bland. You're born in a Vault, where people went before the nukes hit and remained safe. Then, daddy goes missing and vault security stops liking you. You decide it's best to leave, and begin your long trek across the wasteland to find him. You've got an assortment of characters but none seem particularly memorable except for James, the father character. Oh, and liberty prime. That thing is HILARIOUS. Some of the characters are good, however - Such as Fawkes, the super mutant who retained his civility and supressed his bloodthirst. He's even recruitable as a companion, which is even better. There's also the mister handy models which speak in a very stereotypical british accent, but they're very funny characters.

"It's common knowledge that irradiated cats have eighteen half-lives."
-Wadsworth


The gameplay is solid and entertaining. There's a great set of perks and skills to collect throughout your travels as well as a great set of weaponry. You've got the Fat Man, the mini-nuke launcher, poor man's gravity gun, flaming sword, hand-held chainsaw... The list goes on. The combat, while feeling mildly clunky at times, is good. There's a great function called V.A.T.S. (vault-tec assisted targeting system) which freezes time allowing you to pinpoint which body part you'd like to snipe off, such as an arm, or leg, crippling their aim or movement. You get a small bullet-time sequence of your character shooting at them. These are entertaining for the most part - But they're unskippable, which is irritating. The perk system gives you a special ability every time you level up has a few gems. There's lady killer, which gives a few special dialogue choices with the opposite sex (I assume there's a re-named counterpart for a female player character) and also dealing an extra 10% damage to them in combat. There's also one which allows you to be a cannibal - Going into the sneak mode with CTRL and feasting upon a human corpse. Just be discreet about it. And, my favorite, Bloody Mess. Enemies you fight are more likely to die in gorier ways. Oh, and there's the +5 damage with all weapons.


The graphics are quite solid, aside from the occasional oddity. Character models are detailed, for the most part. Some enemies are a little blurry, but doesn't detract from the game at all. Now, since my computer's a piece of junk I haven't been able to check it out on full settings with all the antialiasing and sampling. I CAN however run it on full enough settings to tell you all that they're good. There's a few ground textures and models that could do with updating, but to be honest it's fair enough. The game runs at a solid framerate which is very contrary to how much it can render at one time. The entire capital wasteland - The main area you'll be exploring - Is all rendered in one loading screen. Sure, it has to load objects as you get nearer to them, but whatever. I was honestly surprised at how many beer bottles could be seen in one shot without any slowdowns.


The sound design is great - There's the usual good selection of sound effects, monsters growling, zombies howling and weapons firing. It's mainly the music which holds up the rest of it. There's some great ambient pieces. The voicework is solid as well, which is a plus. It's a shame the characters and story were somewhat bland.


There's plenty of replay value thanks to the Karma system. You'll lose and gain karma depending on what you do, such as rescuing a captive of some super mutants or blowing up a goddamn city. The town called Megaton is constructed around a live nuke. There's no telling when it'll go off. You may chose to disarm, or detonate it. There's some fantastic designs, actually. There's Rivet City, a beached aircraft carrier now turned into a city. Aside from that, there's some entertaining enemies such as tinny robots, foul-mouthed raiders, and giant, fire-breathing ants. Just be sure to keep an eye on all the radiation you might contract out there.


Everything in fallout 3 has consequences. Just from taking a shot of a drug, to drinking that water - It's surprisingly addictive.


Fallout 3 strapped my expectations to a box of fireworks. I was positively blown away at how vast it is. If you're looking for a great sci-fi.. No, not even sci-fi - Post-Nuclear RPG, this is one to pick up.


Presentation - 7.2 A fairly mediocre story and mildly forgettable cast of characters are the main letdown. It doesn't detract from it all as a whole, however.

Gameplay - 8.7 Fun combat and great shootouts make fallout 3 a fun game to do battle in.

Graphics - 8.5 Quite solid, apart from the occasional anomaly.

Value - 8.9 As I said, there's some good replay value if you'd like to go through it as a good or evil character.



-leo